A question that I have been asked a lot lately is, “How is wedding planning going?” I usually respond with “great!” I say this because we have booked the most beautiful venue on our desired date (our seven year anniversary), I have began browsing for wedding dresses, and I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend! However, looking back over these past few months of wedding planning I can see that I have already succumbed to that negativity of trying to fulfill everyone else’s wants and desires. This is the mean ugly monster that will eat you alive and cause you to lose site of what this special day really is about.
I am a person with a big heart. I am always thinking about how other’s feel or why they are acting a certain way and always take it personally. I have spent hours on end going back and forth on our first draft of our guest list stressing on who I “have” to invite so they won’t get upset with me. I have been stressing over the friends whose friendship has disseminated over the past years and wondering if I should include them. After multiple breakdowns to my fiancé, I saw the light I so desperately needed.
Prior to getting engaged, I kept telling myself, “Remember the people who are present in your life right now, these are the one’s you want there with you on your special day.” This is what you need to remind yourself. Let’s be honest, while planning a wedding you know those people who weren’t around will conveniently come around when it’s invitation time. This is a day about you and the person you love vowing the rest of your lives to each other. This isn’t a family reunion, a 50th birthday party, or even a random get together. Of course we’d love to have every family member, every acquaintance there, but news flash people, weddings are NOT cheap. The people there should be those that you see frequently, not every 6 months, every other holiday, or even just that random person always liking your Instagram posts. It is one of the most intimate moments of your life and that should be cherished and not exploited.
So when it comes down to it and after invites are sent out, people are going to realize they aren’t invited and will probably be upset. But you know what, it’s not about them, it’s not about how they feel, it’s about you and the love of your life. It’s about the people who are frequent in your life, the people who know what is currently happening in your life, hell the ones that even know how you met or what your major is in college. You owe them no explanation whatsoever because really, where have they been? Take a deep breath, enjoy this beautiful time, and always remember what it is always about.